I believe that, at least consciously, all people seek to be happy. But—are we?
According to the World Happiness Report 2025, published by the Wellbeing Research Centre at the University of Oxford in collaboration with Gallup and the United Nations, the variables most commonly considered when assessing happiness are: GDP per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom, generosity, and perceived corruption. However, when we reflect on our own happiness, it becomes clear that other, perhaps more personal, variables must also be taken into account.
The Global Happiness Survey 2024, conducted by Ipsos, asks directly in large-scale polls: “Overall, how happy would you say you are?”, usually offering four answer choices: “Very happy,” “Rather happy,” “Not very happy,” and “Not at all happy.” According to this survey, carried out in more than 30 countries, around 70% of people consider themselves happy. China showed the most surprising results: 91% of its population reported being happy, according to Ipsos.
There seems to be a contradiction between these high levels of reported happiness and the global rise in mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, and suicide rates, which clearly contradict the notion of happiness. In Spain, 34% of the population has experienced some form of mental health issue in recent years, with anxiety, depression, and insomnia being the most common (ClinicaPsicologica.uy). Globally, more than 300 million people suffer from depression, and a similar number experience anxiety disorders—this only in what is considered the developed world (Cadena SER). Between 2000 and 2023, the suicide rate in the United States rose from 10.4 to 14.2 per 100,000 people, a 37% increase over two decades (North American Community Hub). So again—are we, or are we not, happy?
It is important to remember that in many cultures, mental health issues are still stigmatized, which may lead individuals to avoid acknowledging—or admitting—their emotional difficulties. This, in turn, may distort the results of such studies. Moreover, happiness is often confused with a positive mood, and we tend to project a more favorable image socially than what we truly experience in our private and solitary moments.
We speak of happiness, of data, of surveys and rates, but—what is happiness? What do we really mean when we talk about it? Answering this question is no simple task. Surely, each person has their own definition.
If you were to ask me at eight o’clock on a Tuesday morning, while I’m waking up my daughter for school and realizing—much to my dismay—that we’re in for a difficult morning to get her to school and myself to work on time, my perception of whether I am happy would probably differ from how I’d feel four hours later, after teaching two Reiki classes and sitting in meditation. In truth, many of us confuse happiness with a fleeting positive mood—and unhappiness with a temporary negative one.
Aristotle referred to happiness as eudaimonia: a fulfilled life, virtuous and with purpose. It was not about fleeting pleasure or joy, but about living in accordance with the excellence of character. Positive psychology defines happiness as a state of subjective well-being, which combines positive emotions, life satisfaction, and a sense of meaning. From a spiritual and Eastern perspective, happiness is related to inner harmony, connection with oneself and with the transcendent. It is a state of calm, gratitude, presence, and acceptance—beyond the ups and downs of emotion.
Thus, we might say that happiness is the ability to be at peace with oneself and with life as it is—cultivating presence, purpose, relationships, and an attitude of gratitude.
Happiness—much broader and deeper than temporary joy or satisfaction—seems to be, in many ways, a decision. At its heart lies the perception and belief that our life has purpose, along with a deep acceptance of life as it is. And we must not forget the great secret that holds everything together: gratitude. Furthermore, the sense of purpose is not something that appears by chance—it is something to be worked on and patiently cultivated.
The great problem for many people—whom I like to call “normal people living a normal life”—is that they don’t know whether they are happy because they simply don’t have time to think about it. There are too many distractions, problems, tasks to solve, setbacks, and obligations that occupy all our time.
To be happy, you have to want to be happy. It’s not chance, genetics, or destiny. It is effort and dedication. And most “normal” people spend their time, effort, and dedication replying to emails that are urgent only to others, answering unnecessary WhatsApp messages from even more unnecessary groups, reading extremely important news that will cease to matter in 48 hours, updating themselves on the momentous lives of people they don’t know and will never know—but to whom they devote more time than to their own family—arguing about who is the best footballer, tennis player, actor, or singer; or worse, engaging heated battles over who is more physically attractive, or who is the G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time) of any trivial matter irrelevant to our lives. In reality, most people go to great lengths to waste time. Sad. True.
The question that matters is: how to be happy as a normal person? That is, without being a monk, a celebrity’s child, the CEO of Amazon, or a guru with twenty million followers on YouTube. How can one be happy being normal?
I think many people avoid asking themselves if they are happy because they fear a negative answer. And that is understandable. If you discover that you’re not, you almost feel compelled to change things—and sometimes many things—but often changing “things” seems like a chimera. Better to stay distracted and avoid thinking too much. After all, what is the meaning of life?
However, if you are still reading, I understand that you truly want to be happy. And you hope I will offer a solution. The good news is that I have one—there are others, but I have mine—and it works. The bad news: it requires dedication. And a lot of it. But yes, it is possible to be happy as a normal person living a normal life. And the path, moreover, is pleasant.
To be happy, first of all, you have to want it and decide to be happy. This is the first step. The most important one. Once this is clear, the “work” begins. Secondly, you must sit down and seriously reflect on what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy, and separate these into two broad groups:
On one hand, all those things that would make us happy but do not depend on us: political situations, the end of wars, economic improvement, etc.
On the other hand, all those things that depend, at least in part, on our daily decisions and actions: our health and physical condition, how we use our free time, the people we share it with, the books we read, the music we listen to, the places we visit…
Over all these years teaching Reiki and meditation, I have had the great fortune to travel extensively—mainly to teach Reiki, but also to offer sessions, workshops, and retreats—in Finland, France, Ireland, the Czech Republic, Lebanon, Japan, Italy, the Netherlands, among others. And my experience has shown me that there are common elements among happy people.
Obviously, the state of one’s personal finances and their perception of the world are important variables. Nevertheless, the true root of happiness usually rests on four fundamental pillars:
First: Conscious, consistent, and genuine care of physical health.
Happy people are generally healthy people. And they are healthy because they take care of themselves. They exercise regularly, many of them about twenty or thirty minutes a day—yoga, swimming, running, pilates, qigong, or other forms. It is not so much what they do but when they do it. And that when is: every day, or every other day. Additionally, they rest and sleep well. They pay attention to their diet. Some are more strict than others, but all are mindful of what they eat. Happiness is enduring; euphoria is not. A donut may produce a spike of euphoria that seems like happiness, but it is not. An apple does not provoke euphoria, but it contributes to your well-being. Happy people tend to avoid alcohol or consume it very occasionally; they do not smoke or take drugs; they reduce sugar and avoid ultra-processed products.
Second: Nurturing and stimulating the mind.
Happy people are mentally young, regardless of their age. They have a hunger for knowledge and curiosity. They want to learn, improve, and know more. They study, attend workshops, listen to nourishing podcasts, select their reading carefully, and above all, do not poison their minds. They avoid books, videos, or films they know are poison, just as they avoid ultra-processed foods in their diet. They feed their minds as consciously as they feed their bodies.
Third: The social environment.
Imposed loneliness is no friend of happiness. But a social environment that is abundant yet lacks intimacy is not either. The people with whom we relate—especially outside of work obligations—are one of the most important variables in our perception of happiness. And it is not necessary for this environment to be large; it only needs to be genuine. Happy people carefully nurture their social environment. They choose. They draw close. They distance. They attend. They love.
My friend Miquel Sanz, a great writer and dear friend, once dedicated one of his books, Libros rayados, to me with a phrase that remains for me an emotional compass: “Walk frequently the path that leads to your friend’s house, lest the weeds cover it.” An African proverb that expresses exactly what I mean.
Fourth: Spiritual life and the purpose of our existence.
The perception of happiness will never be complete without a rich inner life and a clear sense of purpose. Even if we manage to maintain good health, balanced finances, a sufficient social network, and an active mind, if we do not dedicate time to cultivating the spirit, something deep will always remain incomplete. The question “What am I missing if I have everything?” will start to haunt us, and over time, may even generate guilt.
Caring for the spirit is essential to live fully. How to do it? In my case, the answer lies in the daily practice of Reiki and meditation. Others find it in the mosque, the synagogue, or the church. Some, in Zen. Others, in the contemplation of nature. What matters is not the path, but that the care is sincere, intimate, and for oneself. Not to prove anything. Authentic spirituality need not be visible; it only needs to be lived.
BONUS: If you already feel happy, yet wish to deepen that happiness, there is a sure path: the path of helping others.
True fulfillment often arises not only from caring for ourselves, but from extending our care beyond, offering support, time, and love to those around us. Thus, happiness expands, multiplies, and transforms into something even greater.
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